I Had a Prison Pen Pal in College. He Changed How I Interacted With Men
Summary
The article describes the author’s experience with unwanted attention from a male fitness instructor during college and how this affected her view on saying "no" to men. She explains that she learned the importance of setting boundaries from a pen pal who was in prison, which helped her stand up to inappropriate behavior.Key Facts
- The author took a weight training class in college where a male instructor made unwanted comments and asked her out repeatedly.
- At first, she found this attention confusing but soon became uncomfortable and responded with clear refusals.
- This experience took place before popular social media conversations about misogyny and male entitlement.
- The author grew up believing that persistence after “no” was part of a normal romantic chase.
- She credits learning to firmly say “no” to a man in prison whom she corresponded with by letter.
- The pen pal was seeking someone to write to from Fishkill Correctional Facility in New York.
- Writing to this man helped her understand boundaries and gave her confidence to respond directly to inappropriate behavior.
- The author's early nursing education curiosity led her to correspond with someone from a very different life background.
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