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I’m a Couples Therapist. When I See This, I Fear It's Already Over

I’m a Couples Therapist. When I See This, I Fear It's Already Over

Summary

The article discusses a common relationship pattern called the pursuer-withdrawer cycle. In this cycle, one partner seeks connection while the other pulls away, which can create long-term relationship issues if not addressed. The article highlights how this dynamic can lead to one partner feeling exhausted and giving up on trying to fix the relationship.

Key Facts

  • The article is written by Melissa Divaris Thompson, a therapist specializing in couples therapy.
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by Sue Johnson is mentioned, which helps understand relationship dynamics.
  • The pursuer-withdrawer cycle involves one partner seeking connection while the other retreats.
  • The article highlights a stage called "burned-out pursuer" when the initiating partner stops trying due to lack of response.
  • This cycle can be challenging for even healthy couples if not addressed early.
  • The pursuer often feels like their efforts are too intense, overwhelming the withdrawing partner.
  • The article suggests that naming problems and seeking discussions are signs of someone invested in the relationship's success.

Source Information